“Differences in parenting styles and views on how to raise children can lead to one partner interfering with their spouse while they are setting boundaries and disciplining their child,” says Sue English, a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist. The simplest: A difference in opinion on how to raise your children. Several things can cause a pattern of contradicting a partner in front of the kids. It’s the ongoing pattern of undermining that’s most important to avoid. We all slip up and make mistakes, especially when faced with a strong opposing opinion. These examples and the importance of being on the same page applies to both partners who are parents and co-parents who are separated or not in a relationship. If you’re hashing out discipline details regularly when your child is present, you might be undermining each other. feeling as if you’re always the “bad cop” to your partner’s “good cop,” or vice versaĭiscussing punishment when the child isn’t present can help parents agree about what’s appropriate.
routinely sleeping in your child’s room rather than with your partner.saying “It’s no big deal,” when your child has misbehaved.changing or reducing a punishment set by the other parent.encouraging your child to not tell the other parent about something.complaining about the other parent in front of your children.Holly Schiff, a licensed clinical psychologist who works with families and relationships, identified a few ways you might be undermining your partner: Some of which may feel so minor they could easily be missed or even unconscious.ĭr. Your partner may be undermining you - or the other way around - in many ways in front of your children.
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